Writing Examples

Paragraph headers on the following courtesy of Nietzsche.

I'm sure everyone has, at one time or another, been a new player trying to get into an established group. It can be immensely frustrating for that person to always be relegated to the role of spear-carrier. A smooth introduction to a new group is at least a challenge, and at most, a messy end to the game. Not understanding the rules conventions, the tone of the game, or even just the in-jokes makes you feel like an outsider. Alternatively, having someone come into your game and expect to get away with murder sometimes makes you want to commit murder on them.

It seems that most people have no idea of exactly why this problem came to be, or how to fix it. Some ideas on this follow.

"Thus man wishes..."

Humans communicate in a variety of ways, including body language. An established gaming group will develop its own verbal and visual shorthand. This is why groups that have gamed together for a long time always seem to know what each is about to do. They are reading each other's cues, both consciously (as in oral language) and subconsciously (as in body language).

"...woman..."

Into this happy little band comes an outsider. Let's say she has a "gaming language", but it is different from that of the established group. Two behavioral possibilities exist. The new person will either become part of the group, or not.

"...to be peaceable;"

If the jargon of the established group is learned, then there is a successful assimilation of the new person. This is, of course, the desired result. The amount of the new person's dialect integrated into the "group speak" depends both on the openness of the group and the force of will of the new person. Either way, some compromise or change has been accomplished, and both parties are happy with the resultant "language".

"...but in fact..."

Unfortunately, the life of someone entering into a somewhat closed or long established group can become really unpleasant, without anyone understanding why. The old company has become set in its ways. Everyone knows their place and what types of characters they are expected to play. There are often unspoken assumptions about how ugly the game can get, or who the scapegoat will be, or whether it is okay to mock beaten opponents, or whatever.

The new person also often upsets the established pecking order. Believe me, nobody gets hostile more quickly than a group leader who feels, rightly or wrongly, that their position is being threatened. New players also usually have different expectations of how the game is played. Aggressive inter-PC arguments, or whether killing an opponent is a viable option, can be a shock and/or disillusion any player. They might see these actions as unfriendly or unheroic.

"...woman is essentially unpeaceable,"

This is not necessarily wrong behavior. Simply put, the two languages being spoken have not evolved a common ground. The only time that this becomes incorrect behavior is when someone(s) refuse to change.

"...like a cat,"

If the established group refuses to accept any variations, the new person must be the one to modify their conduct. This can be done by changing one's personal assumptions as to acceptable behavior. Also, a difficult PC can be exchanged for a new one. Becoming accepted may take a while but is feasible. One's own different ideas must be stifled or restrained in an attempt to absorb "group-think". However, if you have to bend too much to fit in, it is usually your best bet to simply leave such a group. They have created their own (in my opinion) stagnant little sand castle, and they don't want you to question or kick at it. Can we say opinionated, boys and girls?

"...however well she may have assumed..."

If the new player will not compromise, things will also be difficult. The group can attempt to patiently and consistently insist on what they consider good behavior and/or taste. This technique works in animal training. Poorly socialized people sometimes respond well to this type of calm encouragement. Believe me, I speak from experience!

Being blatantly truthful with the player often will fix things. Sometimes a player is not even aware of the discomfort they cause. Alternative characters can be suggested, if an unfortunate sort of PC is the usual choice. (Example: "I want to play a half-elf, telepathic, red-headed ninja assassin with a soul-stealing sword!" "Umm, we were kind of hoping you'd play a super-hero, like the rest of us!"). Ideas to hook in the new PC with older, more experienced PCs are good, as a new character can use a connection to an established character as an introduction to the group.

Again, if all types of encouragement towards change are futile, having the offending player leave is probably the best choice. This does not have to be a painful and unfriendly occurrence. Tell the truth: running or playing in a game where everyone is uncomfortable is not fun. If the game isn't fun, why play?

"...the peaceable demeanor."

To conclude: to me, truthful compromise is the best answer to most social problems in gaming. Compromise can lead to positive change; an absence of change will cause stagnation.

Keeping mentally flexible will help you to do this. For example, don't always play with the same people. Learning new languages, even if they are only those of a subculture, is always broadening. Let new people into your group -- it takes a different type of courtesy to be friendly when you are in the majority and have nothing to lose. Try different types of PCs. A player who is tactically oriented trying to play someone who is oblivious to danger can be amusing for everyone in the game. Above all, be willing to try something new. Stretch your skills! Change doesn't only keep you interested, it keeps you interesting.

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